10. The Taurus Judge. It’s not that the Judge was particularly bad – it’s a revolver that shoots little shotgun shells. That’s a sweet idea. Who wouldn’t want one for a day with a box of clay targets and a case of Coors Light?*** The issue is also not the ugliness of the gun, though it is certainly ugly. The problem with the Judge is all of the dickheads who thought it was a good idea for a “defensive” firearm. I heard a guy at Academy Sports talk about being able to shoot a bathroom stall door off the hinges with one – and I know just about everyone has a similar story. Unfortunately, those kinds of comments make the Judge something you should be embarrassed to own, and that makes it one of the worst hand guns of all time.
***Please drink and shoot responsibly, which is to say, not at all. Well, if you’re really good at both (Bo) then maybe.
9. Desert Eagle .50 Cal. This is another movie prop gun. Yeah, it looks sweet with Arnold shooting it, but in reality it’s a piece of crap that fires a shitty expensive round. This is a good test: If the gun that fires the exotic round were available in a common caliber, would you still want it? Would you want a Desert Eagle in .45ACP? More than likely not, so it’s a piece of shit that only belongs on the silver screen shooting aliens or something.
8. S&W M&P. I’m sure this will be a surprise to a lot of people, but M&Ps suck. Most of the problems with them come down to the fact that they can’t group worth crap. If you want one that shoots be prepared to spend beau-coup bucks on aftermarket barrels and other parts. Once upon a time S&W fielded a massive team (20+ shooters) that traveled to different events shooting the M&P. Once the team disbanded guess how many shooters stuck with the M&P? Just one. Even of the remaining S&W team members Julie, Doug, and Jerry, only one uses an M&P, and she doesn’t even really shoot much any more.
6. Caracal Model C: This thing is so bad that Caracal has recalled all of them, can’t fix them, and is issuing full refunds. It’s basically the Happy Fun Ball of pistols.
5. “Springfield Armory XD” The Springfield Armory XD isn’t so bad, but the HS2000 is a real piece of crap.
4. Sphinx 3000. It’s a CZ clone made in Switzerland. Have you ever been to Switzerland? A Big Mac in Zurich is like $15! It’s expensive as hell there! You’re basically taking a CZ and paying a guy an Investment Banking salary to build it.
3. 1911. New 1911s are pretty sweet, and the design is simple and timeless. But come on – let’s examine what it takes to keep the 1911 relevant: Gunsmiths have to apprentice for years to really understand the nuances of the design, and even then none of them seem to agree on anything. Modular designs like STI and Infinity have updated the design, but what remains of the original 1911? Just the fire control group? Basically the 1911 is a sweet trigger – that’s it. The rest is old.
2. The Glock Gen 4. Just watch this – it says it all:
1. Any revolver ever. Look, revolvers are pretty sweet as movie props, and they can be fun to shoot as plinkers and range toys, but they haven’t been relevant since the first 1911 was put in a GI’s hands. That’s over 100 years, people. I came to this conclusion after the 2011 USPSA Texas Open Championship, where the greatest revolver shooter ever, shooting the very best revolver he could get, finished 73rd in the combined results. I, after shooting for about a year, with a crappy Glock 34, finished a measly 3rd A and 53rd overall. How did I beat Jerry by 20 places? Because revolvers suck. They have bad triggers, they take forever to reload, the don’t hold very many rounds, and when they malfunction they are about as useful as a metal pipe (which is honestly pretty useful if you’re a plumber or you need a paper weight). Revolvers are as current as a bow and arrow at this point, which means they’re cool when Ted Nugent shoots a buffalo with one, but otherwise they suck.